WE ARE ONE...

When asked then when I think my baby will arrive, I always say “on Jan 19”…as it would surely be memorable to have our baby with us, exactly after a year of being married. But then again, like a lot of things in this world, which we do not have full control of; a different plot came into view.

“…Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us…”

An hour after watching US Pres. Obama’s inauguration rites at around 330AM, I woke up with lower abdominal cramps (which I initially thought will be easily relieved by changing positions or walking around). I spent another hour monitoring how long the cramps would last and figured that I have to wake Migoy up – as the cramps were felt at 5-min interval, lasting for around 1 to 2 min. Thanks to the learning from our birthing class, the relaxation techniques were definitely helpful (in fact, I had to wait for Migoy to finish up taking a shower – yes, he was so relaxed.).

By 5AM, with less than 30 min drive from Pasig to Alabang, we were already inside the Genesis Center. I was diagnosed to be 3 to 4 cm dilated already. Then, the staff already advised me to be admitted. While at the labor room, I would say, I was able to manage the contraction pains well --- as I was still able to find time to send text messages to family and friends on my labor progress. At 9AM, I was again checked and was told that I am already 4 cm dilated. After the staff learned that I only had a slice of toast and a glass of water for breakfast about 5 to 6 hours earlier, they asked my doctor if I can still enjoy breakfast. Lo and behold, they later served rice, chicken with mushrooms, and cereals for my breakfast.

After enjoying my meal and a couple of hours later, dilation is not progressing well, that I was advised to do manual stimulation (which did not work that well either). By 1PM, I already had to be administered with oxytocin to help with my labor. An hour after the oxytocin kicked in, my dilation came up to 6 cm! I was successfully managing the pains naturally, until I felt I was short of breath at every contraction. I felt I was having an asthma attack --- that my attempts to breathe deeply were foiled. This is the time the epidural came in handy --- although it brought uncontrollable chills all over.

I was wheeled into the birthing room (BR322) to prepare us for the main event. I was then diagnosed to be 8 cm dilated an hour later, but my water bag was still intact. My doctor then had to rupture my bag and was happy to see that the water was still clear --- still a good sign that we can proceed with normal delivery (as I had indicated clearly in my birth plan).

After almost a couple of hours of close monitoring, I was stuck at 8 cm dilation and my baby’s heartbeat was dropping in a regular pattern (coinciding with every contraction). It may be every woman’s wish to have an hourglass figure, especially after the pregnancy; but mine came too soon and in a different way. Everyone observed how oddly shaped my very-pregnant tummy has become! It was shaped like an hourglass…which then brought my doctor to advise Migoy that she is thinking of doing a C-section with my state and especially that of our baby. With my sober condition, I was roused to listen to my doctor’s advice intently. Considering my baby’s condition, I immediately succumbed to the needed surgery.

At exactly 5:28PM, my baby was out. It was a good decision to not waste any time to proceed with the C-section, as my baby had a cord coil, which was causing the distress (and probably my peculiarly bunched up tummy). As soon as I heard my baby cry, I was in tears…moments later, I had her on my chest.

The sequence of events on that joyful day definitely put me and Migoy to the test --- test of love, trust, strength, and faith --- and with much pride, I would say, we were ONE and we did not falter and instead, faced every step of that wonderful journey together with lots of laughs and tears; and interesting stories to tell baby Annika.

Travelogue of an Absentee Blogger

Yes, I have been out for quite some time…been up and about doing a lot of things [as some other people would call it, simply put, “I was caught up with @#%^ work!”]…anyhow, now that I finally found some time to sneak out and logon to our blog, here’s my excuse:

July 2007: Been asked to prepare and pack up for a month-long trip to Cape Town. Happy? Hmm…yes, since it would be my first time to see another part of the globe (which apparently has quite a number of interesting places to boot – in fact, these places are included in the book, “1000 Places to See Before You Die”) Sad? Hmm…yes, as I know it will be another bout of fighting loneliness.

Aug 7, 2007: Off to Cape Town via Singapore. I will be taking 16 hour long trip from Manila. I even had a funny experience of bringing overweight luggage into Cape Town, that the ground attendants initially thought I was flying to the US. Well, another help from lady luck, I got off without paying a cent!

Aug 8, 2007: Arrived in Cape Town safely. Weather was nice. It was sunny and breezy at the same time. From the airport and en-route to the hotel, I never thought I was already staring at the famous Table Mountain. Only until I got into the office did I realize I was staring at the same mountain all along! Believe it or not, that same day when my plane landed, (after a bit of work) I had to ask my colleagues to drive me up to the Table Mountain. [I was indeed lucky to get that opportunity, as the sun never showed up the same way it did that day when I arrived during my month-long stay in Cape Town.]

Aug 9, 2007: National Women’s Day…Fighting the urge to succumb to jetlag, I had to condition myself for my next stop. 6AM flight from Cape Town to Durban! It was a long weekend, so I took the chance to get in that flight! Once we landed in Durban, which was about a 2 hour flight, we enjoyed some nature and cultural trip, seeing the valleys and the tribes that lived there. Then, as the day ended, we headed to Umschlanga to get some rest in preparation for the next leg of the Durban trip.

Aug 10, 2007: From Umschlanga, we drove off to the Sani Pass Hotel to view the famous Drakensberg Mountain. We enjoyed the scenery and the buffet dinner they served…and yes, since we were in South Africa, we had to try the wine! Guess what? Wine tastes great! We all had our fair share of the bottle that we all retired early to bed. It was just right to keep us well rested…

Aug 11, 2007: Early to bed, early to rise…we all had to rise up early to get on our ATVs! Yes, we all booked ourselves for a tour using All-Terrain Vehicles! Driving to the top of the Sani Pass using quad bikes? That was an awesome (but dangerous) experience.

Aug 12, 2007: Headed back to Cape Town. For the first time, I checked in a hand-carry luggage (which was not overweight, and not heavy at all) and it got lost!

From the time I got back my luggage, until the time I got to have Kermin with me in Cape Town, we had the chance to see Cape Town’s great scenic places --- Stellenbosch, Boulder’s Beach, Cape Point, Cape of Good Hope…seeing these nice places were great…but I knew it would be much better if I had shared the trip with Migs around. Day in and day out, we keep in touch…greeting each other as we start the day or as we end the day whenever possible. It felt different when a day passes by without hearing each other say “Hi” or “Hello”.

…Being away for one whole month, one thing’s for sure, I knew it felt great to know that though we’re miles and miles apart, neither distance nor difference in time zones will ever keep us apart. Oops, a second point to add, I am pretty sure Cape Town will be on our list of things to see together…honeymoon? We’ll see…

Lightning McQueen, Route 66, Radiator Springs and Finding Yourself

When you find yourself
In some far off place,
And it causes you
To rethink some things.
You start to sense
That slowly you’re becoming someone else
And then you find yourself.

When you make new friends
In a brand new town,
And you start to think
About settling down,
The things that would have been lost on you
Are now clear as a bell.
And you find yourself
That’s when you find yourself.

Well you go through life
So sure of where you’re heading,
And you wind up lost
And it’s the best thing that could happen.
‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way
It’s really just as well.
‘Cause you find yourself;
That when you find yourself.

When you meet the one
You’ve been waiting for,
And she’s everything
That you want and more,
You look at her
And you finally start
To live for someone else.
And then you find yourself;
That’s when you find yourself.

We go through life
So sure of where we’re heading,
And then we wind up lost
And it’s the best thing that could happen.
Sometimes when you lose your way
It’s really just as well.
Because you find yourself;
Yeah that’s when you find yourself.


Well, when you want to find a movie that'll somehow teach you a simple lesson in life, go look for an animated movie (or as they'd say in the '80s, a cartoon). That'll surely make you leave the cinema, or your favorite comfy chair, with a light heart, but with a lesson learned.

This lesson I learned came from Disney's "Cars". Well, actually, from one of the songs on its OST -- Find Yourself. Didn't think a song done by a Country singer would catch my fancy, but more about that in a little bit. Cars is one of my all-time favorite movies. The story is pretty simple, but the trip to Radiator Springs reminded me of my road trip last year with Hestia to the Grand Canyon. We drove down the Mother Road, Route 66.

Getting off the main freeway and on to Route 66 is a bit like getting of SLEX or NLEX and going onto provincial roads. It's not as wide, nor as spacious, and you can't go as fast. A bother for the true blue Lightning McQueen in each one of us. But like Route 66 passing through Carburetor County, these country roads are quaint and charming. And if you travel into the countryside more, the less you see the same stuff you see in the city, and the more you have a glimpse and a taste of the more laidback culture.

That was a fun trip. Romantic, you could say that. It was then the longest time I had been seated beside Hestia. Well, the longest time I had been seated beside her straight, without anyone or anything getting in the way. I'm speaking figuratively, of course, you dirty mind, you. :P

Now about the song whose lyrics I've again shamelessly posted on the blog. There comes a time in your life when you're just too caught up with what you do (well, or not), that you, ehem, lose yourself and just find in your place this lost person just going through the motions. You end up doing something that you've been accustomed to doing, but you no longer recall why you're doing it. One day, you just end up hitting a wall, or getting, ehem, lost. It's when you're knocked off of this comfy (comfy coz you're used to being there) perch that you realize you don't know exactly who you are anymore, and you don't know exactly where you wanna go.

Lightning was too busy basking in his glory, that he forgot about the simple yet more important things in life. I was caught up going through some familiar motions about 3 years back. My brick wall was the announcement that I'd be pulled out of my project, my lofty perch, and moved to a new one, working with colleagues I was not familiar with, and at a place miles in the direction opposite of where I wanted to be. I was, ehem, lost.

And Hestia was, packaged together, my Sally Carrera, my Radiator Springs, and my reason to go all out for the Piston Cup, yet not that all out to lose my self again. When I found her, then realized that she is the one I want to be with, I knew my life was going to change -- for the better, of course. I found myself. I found her, then I found me.

I found out that I didn't want to be single for very long anymore, and that I would like to experience the joys and pains of being married to the woman of my dreams and the love of my life. (Whether I'll be saying the same after years of being married, I don't know.)

Hehehe! Just kidding Honey. That part is something we both will be working on by living our lives together. I miss you. I love you.

Restless Nights, Sleepless Nights, Helpless Nights

It's really true that the person getting left behind going about the same routine but alone feels, well, alone and lonely. Though this is not the first time for me, somehow it feels even more depressing than the first time.

Five nights have passed since Hestia left. Three of those nights I was home early after work, and two other of those nights I was out a bit late. But in all of those nights, I hadn't slept straight nor soundly. Without fail, I'd wake up at 2-2:30 am, whether or not I had slept early the night before. It would take me a while to get back to sleep. And it would be a b1tch to wake up in the morning.

I miss you, Hestia.

I miss waking up in the morning knowing that someone's gonna be waiting for me. I miss waking up reading your good morning greetings. I miss seeing your partly-harrassed-by-work self when I get to the office.

I miss you.

Telecommunications infrastructure at your part of the world aren't helping me. I don't like the feeling of not being able to contact you. The feeling of helplessness just makes it more frustrating.

Oh boy... 28 days of this to go.

L-O-V-E...

Here's a light ditty from the standards genre we discovered a few months back. I think it was Frank Sinatra who did the original. Somehow when I hear it, I think about scenes from romantic movies set in our favorite US cities, namely New York and San Francisco. Mine's New York and Hestia's San Francisco. She finds NYC to be too dark (ala Gotham City) and the people and the city's aura to be too rude (ala Manila, or worse). Hey, feels like home, for me. On the flipside, I find San Francisco to just be too laid back. But it is relaxing, I must admit. Twenty-one years ago, when I first visited the US, it was the opposite for me. The first city I visited, and which I enjoyed, was San Francisco. I didn't like New York then. Everybody was in a hurry (and a lot more walking was required of me, hehehe!). Oh well, how times can change how people think.

I wonder, Honey, what'll eventually be OUR favorite city...


L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore

Can love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart but please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore

Can love is all that I can give to you
Love, love, love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart but please don't break it
'Cause love was made for me and you
I said love was made for me and you
You know that love was made for me and you...

When You're In My Arms...

I would think it's kinda obvious that I like songs, and different ones at that, with special mention to some Ballads and Oldies, which are now better (or more politically correctly?) known as Standards. Thankfully, Hestia shares about the same taste in music as myself, so we're not really at odds with what I play in the car when we're together. (Except perhaps for that House CD, hehehe!)

My being able to carry a tune for the songs I like, however, is another story altogether, hehehe! but thankfully, again, Hestia does sing well and can sing in public. (Anyone want to hear a demo?)

Anyhow, the story behind this latest tune brings me back to the year 2000. I had recently resurrected my Casio MP3 watch, from our den, which has 32MB worth of memory for, you guessed it, MP3s. That's probably just 7-8 songs at most using 128 mbps recording, but hey, it was an early edition iPod. Talk about a Blast From The Past, huh?

Anyways, for some reason, I had been spending a bit more time in our den. Dunno if it's related to my finding the watch there. The PC we have in that room is also a blast from the past, year 2002 this time, but then not fully-spec'd. With such limited memory and programs running on Windows 98, (due to my inclination being really towards cars rather than computers) it wasn't gonna be long till I'd find my songs from the Honda days.
The featured song is from the musical "They're Playing Our Song".

They're Playing Our Song is a musical with a book by Neil Simon, lyrics by Carole Bayer Sager, and music by Marvin Hamlisch.
In a story based on the real-life relationship of Hamlisch and Sager, a wisecracking composer finds a new, offbeat lyricist, but initially the match is not one made in heaven. The two undergo a series of trials and overcome a number of hurdles before finding true love by the final curtain.
Productions: 1978 Los Angeles; 1979 Broadway; 1980 Sydney; 1980 West End

When you’re in my arms
And I feel you close to me
Life’s what it’s supposed to be
I’m in love you are my soul

You’re my melody
You’re every dream I locked away
My whole world came alive the day
You walked into my life
You are my song

Sing it
Let everybody know I found you
Let everybody know I found that thing
That people love to sing about

Tell them
Tell them if they didn’t hear by now
Tell them how I’ve found that feeling that I waited for
I’ve got the world and more

When you’re in my arms
I wish I had the words to say
I’ll give them to you every day

Tonight you’re in my arms
It feels good in your arms
Tonight you’re in my arms

When you’re in love the time keeps tickin’
But you’ve got no time to see it go
I’ve only got eyes for my sweet sweet baby
So love’s the only time I know

When you’re in love your smile gets wider
You get a kind of magic glow
The clock on the wall doesn’t matter at all
Cause love’s the only time you know

Something so right like lovin’ together
Two hearts are better than one
Good good lovin’ that some sweet sweet music
Sure makes wakin’ up fun

Sure feels good to be lovin’ each other
I wonder why we waited so long
The fire is burnin’
We got ourselves our own sweet song

When you’re in my arms
I see a world I’ve never seen
I never knew that trees were green
Till you were in my arms
You are my song

Sing it
Let everybody know I found you
Let everybody know I found that thing
That people love to sing about

Thank you
For helping give my life some order
And where’d you put my tape recorder
I want to write how good I feel tonight

When you’re in my arms
I wish I had the words somehow
Shhh
Not now

Tonight you’re in my arms
And you’ll be wakin’ up in my arms
When you’re in my arms...

I have my friend Lisa to thank for bringing the cd to work about 7 years ago, and her now hubby Mike, for using the company's IT resources in ripping the songs. Hehehe! Mike has since left the company, so I think it's safe to tell a little story about our project exploits. Hehehe!

Back to the song, it kinda brought me back to the time Hestia and I were a new couple. It reminded me of the happy uncertainty we felt weeks before we became a couple which was in stark contrast to the euphoric feeling when we got together (well, the day after, at least, coz on the night we became "us", I was really downed by colds, but that's another story ;) ).

Some people are really better off single, while some are miserable in that state. I'm in the mold of the latter. Ever hear of the phrase "Alone, but not lonely"? Well, I'm quite the opposite. Without a better half, a partner to inspire me, a strong force to calm me, I am lonely even within a crowd.

Honey, your taking a chance with me years ago made everything right for me. Short of sounding like Jerry Maguirre, your reaching out to me put everything in perspective. I am no longer blindly reaching out, but now I'm seeing you and I know that you're within reach. I see the world and life from more than just my point of view. I see more colors and details that have always been there, but have not meant anything until you pointed them out to me.

I look forward to that day in January, six months from now, when we embark on a new journey, when we take another chance and dive into a bigger pond filled with more challenges. Somehow it doesn't feel as frightening nor as daunting, not when you're in my arms...

3165 Date of Initial Incarceration
1198 Date Life Sentence was handed down

Hehehe! Talk about a Prison Sentence, eh? Got to talk to a few guys who've been married for quite a while. This seems to be their idea (read: misconception) about Marriage.

Well, Honey, far from being sucked into their frame of mind, I just laughed with them, not at them, coz they are my friends, too, but made sure that the entire topic ended at the laughing part.

I dunno. Maybe the magic wore off for them. Or maybe, the magic wasn't there to begin with. Perhaps they weren't done having fun - the kind of fun you could no longer have as freely when you have a ring - in the first place. Just like Chris O' Donnell's Jimmie Shannon character in The Bachelor. (Oooh! Farmer Hoggett / James Cromwell is a good guy in this movie! But anyways, that's another story, hehe!) He saw his and his friends' free-running mustang characters being herded in, one by one. But anyways, whatever their reason/s is/are, that's their problem, and I wish them luck resolving it.

Now going back to Jimmie Shannon, and his friends, it's not uncommon to have such a frame of mind. Some guys really value their being able to have a relationship, yet at the same time, have an abundance of space. Intimate time with the sweetheart and bonding time with the boys. Best of both worlds, so to speak. For other guys, that is. I value space, but only to a certain extent. A small extent. At the moment, a day in the week or weekend not spent with each other is enough space. Most of the time, that day is Sunday, when we have our separate commitments to each other's families. Sometimes even, this is not the case, as we both attend each other's family's events.

Honey, I'm not directly asking you to give me space. I'm not straight-forwardly requesting you to keep to your end of the metropolis on one day of the week, and allow me to stay on my end. It just so happens that this is how our Sundays are like. I'm not complaining when this happens. I'm also not complaining if it doesn't - meaning when we spend it together attending some family activity. I like this arrangement, while we're at this engaged-to-be-married state. In a little over 6 months, we'll be together, more so on Sundays.

Though I cherish what we have now, I look to cherish what we'll start having soon a lot more. Mwah!!!