i had my own shares of downfalls and sad moments in my life...sad moments that at times made me question if i was really destined to live a life with a loving partner and beautiful kids. i have always dreamt of having kids and taking good care of them...there were times i can't even imagine my life without kids. i just love them and being around them that having kids and raising them well were to me, measures of my being successful and satisfied with my life. but He has His ways of teaching us to be patient and to learn how to trust in His plans.
i had to experience hurt to appreciate His plans...i had shed tears and shared laughters with people who have come and gone in my life...those experiences made me cherish my family more and the true-st friends i had throughout my life. i learned to love them dearly as they stood by me through the happy and saddest moments of my life. He has made me wait...wait until it is time for me to embrace His plans. during the time i was waiting, i was impatient. there were times i ask questions and there were times i even hurt myself more for prodding and pushing for the things i want.
i learned the hard way...yes, not all the things we want are the things that are good for us. it is only when we learn to accept, let go, trust and wait...that we slowly receive His blessings without us even knowing that His plans are already unfolding. i learned to accept that there are things that i want that are not just according to His plans. i learned to let go and trust that His plans are going to be realized in His perfect time. i learned to wait patiently...and all these have gotten me to enjoy His plans slowly unfolding before me! i waited...and He has shown me the way to reaching the happiness i deserve. while waiting, i lost some friends and gained more! i lost my dad...and i gained a good stepdad, two dear nephews and a whole loving clan in Migoy's family. i loved and lost a couple of times...and i found the one whom i am going to love and share my life with for a lifetime.
yes, i, too, did the waiting...and definitely, it was not in vain.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Waiting... But not in Vain
"I've already found the one worth waiting for. Now all I have to do is wait."
They seem like lines shamelessly stolen from a mushy movie. I won't take it against you for thinking that. But they're actually mine... for Hes, last February 2006.
Flashback to 7 months prior to that. I had just gotten my permanent employment status (finally!) in the company I had once worked as an external consultant/consultant-for-hire (TPC - Third Party Contractor, as they would call it), and a direct contractor. Keeping your head down, concentrating on the road ahead, and blocking out distractions at work, as the Great Schumi used to do on the track, paid dividends. After 20 months, I finally get my blue ID. (I preferred the green one for color purposes, though, hehehe!)
So there, as I had been smiling and thanking everyone who came by and congratulated me, our team had been called into an ad hoc meeting. Juicy, long-term project assignments were being handed out. It's funny how you can be on top of the world for a moment, and crushed right under it at the next. Hes had been assigned abroad for a year, I had not. A Strong Ice lunch had followed later in the day. Wa-Pakk! was needed. While everyone present floated in their assignment excitement, I had wallowed in my disappointment and had drowned it in drink.
Woe is me. Woe is our relationship. Why now?
I got a few mixed reactions from my friends. Some said it could be a sign to let go, since we were quite new (4 months from the get-go), this was a very difficult position to be in and long distance relationships hardly, if ever, work. Some said otherwise. Fight, Fight, Fight! Wait, Wait, Wait!
Oh boy, here I am again - at a position I know so well, but which I find no comfort being at. Hes asked me why I did not want her to leave, aside from the separation. Did I not want her to progress? Did I effectively and selfishly want her career to take a nosedive for my personal reasons? I did not have any right to do so, but I had a privilege to say something. So I did. And so she knew. She hugged me and assured me that my fears, this time, were unfounded. We'd resolved to actively fight for us.
And now, we're living and breathing proof that waiting and holding on has its rewards. As fate would have it, the 1 year assignment would allow her to come home after a month, then a month and a half from then, then allow me to visit after 3 months, and have her home in 4 months. Globe would generously not cut me off (though they're probably this way with most subscribers) for corporate-value and slightly delayed monthly payments, and they'd eventually give me a phone (why just one, though?) for their booming IDD sales.
As Annie Lennox once put it, in the OST of an all-time fave movie, Serendipity, "I don't wanna wait in vain, for your love." Thanks Honey, I never did.
They seem like lines shamelessly stolen from a mushy movie. I won't take it against you for thinking that. But they're actually mine... for Hes, last February 2006.
Flashback to 7 months prior to that. I had just gotten my permanent employment status (finally!) in the company I had once worked as an external consultant/consultant-for-hire (TPC - Third Party Contractor, as they would call it), and a direct contractor. Keeping your head down, concentrating on the road ahead, and blocking out distractions at work, as the Great Schumi used to do on the track, paid dividends. After 20 months, I finally get my blue ID. (I preferred the green one for color purposes, though, hehehe!)
So there, as I had been smiling and thanking everyone who came by and congratulated me, our team had been called into an ad hoc meeting. Juicy, long-term project assignments were being handed out. It's funny how you can be on top of the world for a moment, and crushed right under it at the next. Hes had been assigned abroad for a year, I had not. A Strong Ice lunch had followed later in the day. Wa-Pakk! was needed. While everyone present floated in their assignment excitement, I had wallowed in my disappointment and had drowned it in drink.
Woe is me. Woe is our relationship. Why now?
I got a few mixed reactions from my friends. Some said it could be a sign to let go, since we were quite new (4 months from the get-go), this was a very difficult position to be in and long distance relationships hardly, if ever, work. Some said otherwise. Fight, Fight, Fight! Wait, Wait, Wait!
Oh boy, here I am again - at a position I know so well, but which I find no comfort being at. Hes asked me why I did not want her to leave, aside from the separation. Did I not want her to progress? Did I effectively and selfishly want her career to take a nosedive for my personal reasons? I did not have any right to do so, but I had a privilege to say something. So I did. And so she knew. She hugged me and assured me that my fears, this time, were unfounded. We'd resolved to actively fight for us.
And now, we're living and breathing proof that waiting and holding on has its rewards. As fate would have it, the 1 year assignment would allow her to come home after a month, then a month and a half from then, then allow me to visit after 3 months, and have her home in 4 months. Globe would generously not cut me off (though they're probably this way with most subscribers) for corporate-value and slightly delayed monthly payments, and they'd eventually give me a phone (why just one, though?) for their booming IDD sales.
As Annie Lennox once put it, in the OST of an all-time fave movie, Serendipity, "I don't wanna wait in vain, for your love." Thanks Honey, I never did.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
who's the WINNER?
it's been a week-and-a-day that i have been engaged...sorry, i can't stop fixating on my status change. indulge me, please? we met up with friends this week to keep in touch and to keep them abreast on the details of our preps. of course, we indulge their curiosities...i love sharing the great news --- over and over again --- up to point that i almost lost my voice last night! i have been repeating the same story to friends who were patiently and eagerly listening.
last night, one of migs' friends just made me realize there are actually three of us girls (almost of the same age in the group) that are enthusiastically preparing for our respective special days…not so long ago, we were all joking that we are racing against time --- the clock is ticking fast…(but that time, it seemed that all of us were not giving up). now, we are all hopeful brides-to-be. who would’ve thought that? we were all graciously racing against time…and we all emerged winners!
to my dear co-brides-to-be, good luck to us…let us enjoy every moment of preparing to end this race against time and to spend our lives with our mr. right’s for a lifetime.
last night, one of migs' friends just made me realize there are actually three of us girls (almost of the same age in the group) that are enthusiastically preparing for our respective special days…not so long ago, we were all joking that we are racing against time --- the clock is ticking fast…(but that time, it seemed that all of us were not giving up). now, we are all hopeful brides-to-be. who would’ve thought that? we were all graciously racing against time…and we all emerged winners!
to my dear co-brides-to-be, good luck to us…let us enjoy every moment of preparing to end this race against time and to spend our lives with our mr. right’s for a lifetime.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
"nobody knows where you might end up..."
crazy...i am writing this post inspired by my recent hobby - that is, catching up with the grey's anatomy series. please don't laugh...but i am really hooked with the series lately. ok, go ahead, laugh. the tv series is not really just focusing on romance, but heck, the series' one-liner tag line strikes me a lot. "nobody knows where you might end up...nobody knows"...yes...i didn't know i would be where i am now.
from today, march 22, in exactly 22 hours, i am already enjoying a week of bliss with my current change of "social status". thanks to a thai galpal who reminded me, that i have already changed my status! by tomorrow, it's been a week since i got engaged! i am happy...and thankful i ended up where i am now. people in our workplace have started to notice the change of my social status...well, i smile a lot (despite my oh-so-harassing day) and uhm, (as my mr. right would put it) i have a bling on my left finger!
before, when i still had that ring my mom gave me, i used to wear it on my left finger too...concerned friends would insist for me to remove the ring since as they say, "that's not the way to advertise yourself" - that time, i was single but was so afraid to be part of the dating crowd. now, those days are over. thank GOD! i am proud to have reached this stage...after patiently waiting and hopelessly trusting that this time will come. i am proud to say, i found the man for me without even looking.
but reaching this stage in my life was not easy...i had my share of downfalls and heartaches - a lot of them actually. until i just found myself hoping and praying -- praying hard. i found myself just living my day - a day at a time. but i held on to my hopes, dreams and prayers...and this is where it got me.
...i ended up having another chance at life and love...the best thing of it all, i ended up here...sharing a lifetime of friendship and love with my mr. right.
from today, march 22, in exactly 22 hours, i am already enjoying a week of bliss with my current change of "social status". thanks to a thai galpal who reminded me, that i have already changed my status! by tomorrow, it's been a week since i got engaged! i am happy...and thankful i ended up where i am now. people in our workplace have started to notice the change of my social status...well, i smile a lot (despite my oh-so-harassing day) and uhm, (as my mr. right would put it) i have a bling on my left finger!
before, when i still had that ring my mom gave me, i used to wear it on my left finger too...concerned friends would insist for me to remove the ring since as they say, "that's not the way to advertise yourself" - that time, i was single but was so afraid to be part of the dating crowd. now, those days are over. thank GOD! i am proud to have reached this stage...after patiently waiting and hopelessly trusting that this time will come. i am proud to say, i found the man for me without even looking.
but reaching this stage in my life was not easy...i had my share of downfalls and heartaches - a lot of them actually. until i just found myself hoping and praying -- praying hard. i found myself just living my day - a day at a time. but i held on to my hopes, dreams and prayers...and this is where it got me.
...i ended up having another chance at life and love...the best thing of it all, i ended up here...sharing a lifetime of friendship and love with my mr. right.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Incredibly, Unimaginably Unbelievable
http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/grammar/learnit/learnitv81.shtml
These two adjectives, incredible and unbelievable, are quite interchangeable and to these two you could add a third: unimaginable.
They all describe things or events which are so amazing that they cannot be imagined or believed.
Adverbial forms are incredibly, unbelievably and unimaginably.
That's the general sentiment that I got from everyone not part of the planning, preparation and execution of Operation: Bling on the Left Finger.
"Nashock din ako at nagkaroon ng creative juices in him somewhere. Pero he says he needs to thank friends...feeling ko may nagsuggest *think*think* hehehehe," from my sister.
"How'd you do it? That's a logistical nightmare," said a cousin.
Well, yeah, it was a logistical nightmare to some extent, considering I had to coordinate with the choirmaster (Friend # 1) on what I had in mind and what date exactly we could watch the choir's (Friend #s 2 to 30) "rehearsal". Rather, whether we could actually do it last Friday, since that was an important date for us, but a busy night for them. Thankfully, luck was on our side, and we were able to push through as intended. Thumbs up to their well-practiced and ultra smooth execution of my plan. Galing! She, with her recently affirmed 20/20 vision (not to mention 6x optical zoom - luv yah hon!), never saw it coming. It's still a mystery to me how the kids were able to hide those tulips.
Next, the flowers. The Contact (Friend # 32) was supplied to me by Friend # 31. Friend # 32 wasn't able to deliver them to my office due to logistical reasons, so I had to get them from her. Her instructions: "Meet me at this place along XXX street, with the guards and dogs. Don't go in to that driveway anymore. I'll be standing a little after that, under the "No Parking at anytime" sign." So when I meet her, she shows me the lovely tulips in that large vase, and hurries me away, coz a few meters further down the road were city cops. Hahaha! So I had to drive off, holding the wheel with 1 hand, and hugging the vase with the other arm. Parked in a safe place to figure out how to hold the vase, and then went back to the office. Friend # 1 sent over his assistant, Friend # 33, who contracted a cab, to pick up the flowers from me at my office after lunch. This was a better plan than asking Friend # 34 to leave the office at about 5 pm and deliver it to Friend # 1. But thanks for the offer to do it, Friend # 34.
Friend # 35 handled the food. I paid him a visit a day before D-Day and placed an order for Friends 1-30. He asked for the time and place of delivery and told me to rest assured that it would get to the concerned parties on time in full. (Oh, pardon the last phrase, too much project-related work running through my mind. Hehehe!)
35 friends to thank for, for a successful Operation: Bling on the Left Finger. Would've wanted to include Friends 36 (Mr. Moving Pix) and 37 (Mr. Next Big Thing), but that would've been too obvious. She would've gotten an idea of what was to come, although that would've have meant a lot more stuff to add to Friend 36's and 37's finished products. But hey, Friend 1 and 2 did a good job covering that. Looking forward to viewing the pics and vids. We hope to be able to include them in the overall presentation.
That's the "help" I got from them (defensive, eh? hehehe!). No way could I have managed to pull it off so smoothly and successfully, not to mention, so secretly, without them. Hats off to you guys and gurls.
Now, on the idea, well, Sis, let's just say that I got some inspiration from one of our favorite movies... Love Actually. (Yeah, the "extended" DVD version, not the one "sanitized" for HBO. Not like there's a difference anyway, since the scene I derived inspiration from is in both versions. I just like the additional parts in the extended version. Hehehe!) Just when the groom tells his Best Man that he was glad he resisted the chance to pull off a surprise, out came the surprise. This was just too good an opportunity not to take, to pull off a surprise. Add to that, my low score in terms of creativity. Hehehe! Bingo. One BIG surprise. Perhaps one thing that could've gone better was if I was able to give nee a chance to retouch. Hehehe! Sorry. You weren't as glamorous as you had wanted to be, but you were, as always, beautiful. Can I have my hanky back now?
Expecting another surprise from me? Hahaha! You'd be surprised.
Monday, March 19, 2007
gift of ironies
a lot of my friends would know i tend to be mushy at times...(pagbigyan na ako please? hehe) there was one time when a dear friend from college just uttered "migs is hes' GG (short for Gods' Gift)"..and that, of course made me pause...at that moment, i was fighting to show my affirmation to his statement to show that at times i can control not to be mushy (siyempre hirap na hirap na ako nun!), i knew deep down there was some truth to it...
some? yes, because after being together through the DW (Discovery Weekend), i came to realize he is actually not just God's Gift but a "surprise package of ironies" for me...the days we spent together nurturing our relationship were founded on meaningful laughter and tears --- shared during a short drive from work to QC; shared while watching a feel-good movie; shared with our dear family and friends. we would share a laugh or cry tears together after looking past our separate lives yesterday...while watching a sweet movie (sige na, mas madami ang iniiyak ko...) just like "While You Were Sleeping". remember that nice scene in that Sandra Bullock flick where the whole family of Bill Pullman went over to the train station to join him to propose? my heart just melts when i recall that scene...as just recently, after i felt how it was to be proposed to by the man you love who knelt down on one knee and said "Happy Anniversary...will you marry me?", i did not only share laughs and tears with him, but with our dear families and friends...being asked to recount the heart-melting moment of the proposal just made me cherish it over and over again. it was indeed special that whenever we all hear the music, that's it. everyone is just moved by it. there are laughters and tears...of joy.
i love to laugh (ganyan talaga pag mababaw ang kaligayahan..hehe)...i don't mind the tears (obviously, mababaw lang talaga ako - madaling patawanin at paiyakin)...since i believe they are part of God's Gift to me and part of the memories i will share with my GG...
some? yes, because after being together through the DW (Discovery Weekend), i came to realize he is actually not just God's Gift but a "surprise package of ironies" for me...the days we spent together nurturing our relationship were founded on meaningful laughter and tears --- shared during a short drive from work to QC; shared while watching a feel-good movie; shared with our dear family and friends. we would share a laugh or cry tears together after looking past our separate lives yesterday...while watching a sweet movie (sige na, mas madami ang iniiyak ko...) just like "While You Were Sleeping". remember that nice scene in that Sandra Bullock flick where the whole family of Bill Pullman went over to the train station to join him to propose? my heart just melts when i recall that scene...as just recently, after i felt how it was to be proposed to by the man you love who knelt down on one knee and said "Happy Anniversary...will you marry me?", i did not only share laughs and tears with him, but with our dear families and friends...being asked to recount the heart-melting moment of the proposal just made me cherish it over and over again. it was indeed special that whenever we all hear the music, that's it. everyone is just moved by it. there are laughters and tears...of joy.
i love to laugh (ganyan talaga pag mababaw ang kaligayahan..hehe)...i don't mind the tears (obviously, mababaw lang talaga ako - madaling patawanin at paiyakin)...since i believe they are part of God's Gift to me and part of the memories i will share with my GG...
What Made Kleenex More Profitable
The link to this song had been in my Favorites folder for so long. Little did I know that it was going to mean something someday. I had been ribbing my Honey about her crying bucketloads of tears (together with my lady relatives and family friends) whenever this song would be played, and whenever it would be mentioned as part of the proposal ('not!' pala huh?).The melody would be enough for them to get teary-eyed, and the lyrics were very meaningful that when put together, they had to pull out their Kleenex boxes. Little was I to know that the song, mixed with the right frame of mind, good sounds, and played over again, would elicit a similar reaction from myself. Well, a small part of a similar reaction, that is. One thing's for sure next year, Kleenex stock is going up in January.
I Will Be Here(Steven Curtis Chapman)
Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here
I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here
Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for years
So I will be here
I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here
(Here's when I got down on my knee, showed her the ring and asked her to marry me.)
I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me
Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appearI will be here
Oh, I will be here.
----------------------------
I saw this on the web page I got the lyrics from. Nice.
There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.
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